Life in the Fast Food Lane

Let me preface this by saying, I do not eat a lot of fast food. Once our daughter got past the “I need a toy with my meal” stage, we ditched those places. (And by we, I mean me, as I have found various fast food apps on the hub’s phone!).

With that being said, undoubtedly and without fail, every single time I do decide to go through a drive through, I end up behind the person who would test the patience of saint. Mother Teresa would be honking the horn and muttering under her breath. Hey, I get it. Make your order different to ensure it’s freshly prepared. Check to see if they have diet Mountain Dew instead of diet Pepsi. If these were crimes, I, too, would be guilty as charged.

Here’s what I’m talking about… You drive through the golden arches and take 10 minutes to peruse at the menu. Look, unless you just dropped onto the face of the earth and this experience is completely new to you, old Mickey D hasn’t changed his basic menu since the 70’s. There’s nothing much on it that’s McGood for you. It’s convenience food that is supposed to be served fast. Fast, that is, if the purchaser can make up their mind. Nothing McMore. Nothing McLess.

As I’ve aged, I’ve mellowed my responses somewhat, but this drive-through deliberation will still elicit a shoulder shrug and an eye roll with an occasional steering wheel slam. It ceases to be fast food when I must wait for you to decide which item you want and then, how you wish for it to be prepared. All I can say is McWow! If it’s that tough of a decision, be considerate of the rest of us and go inside. (And by us, I mean me–be considerate of me!)

A few years back, when a premium McBurger was released, I was actually inside, in line, and listened to a woman order that particular sandwich, cooked to a “medium” doneness. I thought the cashier was going to burst a blood vessel. In addition to telling her that all the McMeat is prepared to a dry, overcooked stage to prevent a variety of food-borne illnesses, she asked her if she knew where she was. “Lady, this ain’t a steakhouse and we don’t serve half-cooked meat!” So much for having it your McWay!

So, do your fellow diners a favor and know what you want to eat when you roll up to the McSpeaker. (And by fellow diners, I mean me because, you know, my time is precious, and my patience is limited.) And if you think your only concern is how your McBeef is prepared, I’m giving you a heads up in case you haven’t encountered one of those dreaded McDouble-lane drive-throughs. Please brush up on the double-lane etiquette! Even in my very limited visits, I’ve seen much more than shoulder shrugs, eye rolls and steering wheel slams over double-lane mergers, giving new meaning to “life in the fast food lane…”

(Note about the photo: This is how I react when my husband cannot make up his mind. Gives you a better idea of how lenient I am at the drive through!)